Dr. Phil is famous for saying “the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.” Unfortunately, it is very sadly often true. But CAN people change? DO people ever change? If so, what motivates the change?
The number one rule of dealing with your fellow man or womankind and the first point I have to make today is that you cannot change someone else. No matter how hard you try. Plead, console, cajole, beg, manipulate, withhold love, give unconditional love – none of it will change another person.
And, yes, if it sounds like I have tried, I confess that I have tried. I don’t mind saying that I failed. But I learned from it. It bears repeating: you cannot change another person. Didn’t work for me. Won’t work for you either. You can only change yourself and even that isn’t easy.
Paul had a life-changing event – a literal “come to Jesus” moment when he was struck down and blinded by God on the road to Damascus. Paul saw his need to change during his time of being blind. He could have chosen to ignore God once he got his sight back – could have gone back to killing Christian. The early New Testament church was blessed that he didn’t.
Saul got uppity when he became King of Israel. He changed for the worse and Old Testament Israel shared the penalty.
We’ve all seen TV shows where the protagonist has some life-changing epiphany – gives up smoking overnight, stops drinking, stops cheating, quits gambling, turns from drugs, walks away from prostitution, leaves a gang, etc. Sometimes it because of a single, external event (death of a loved one or their own brush with death for example); sometimes because they hit bottom and just can’t stand to continue living that life.
The thing about meaningful, lasting change is that while the commitment to change may come upon you suddenly, the process is rarely what you can fit into a 60-minute TV program.
Ultimately, the whole world will change at Jesus’ return – people and animals too. Those humans who refuse to change will at least be brought to their knees before the Lord. For us today, we don’t have to let it come to that. God is willing to work with us now and His changes can be gentle, consistent alterations if we have willing hearts.
Mary Kay Ash used to say “you will only change when the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain of change.” Changing is tough. Sometimes in life staying the same is tougher. When that is true, you will change. I believe it is a survival instinct built into our nature. Or you can wait for God to strike you blind along the way to where you think you are going.
I encourage you to choose to ask God to help you change. In the long run, the pain of change is more than overcome by the joy of remaining in Him for all eternity.
More about the transition from sow’s ear to silk purse in my next blog… For now: love to all!
Nancy
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